it hurts more in the daytime
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
