hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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