Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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