Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Boobs are out for the taking
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
