ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize