did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
