Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Randomize
