At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
