those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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