summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize