my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
