Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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