im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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