She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
