my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
