Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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