goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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