Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
