We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
