it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
