Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
