sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
