i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
