This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
