He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
