You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
