I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize