508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
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