at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
