Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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