did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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