honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize