He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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