Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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