Will you blow on my dice?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize