Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Just high enough for therapy.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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