wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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