If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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