I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize