he looks like a really good dad on facebook
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
