there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize