I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize