Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize