she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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