I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
