Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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