Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
