dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
