Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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