worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize