why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
two words...techno handjob
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
