Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
