i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
