your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Dicks are not precious.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
