Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
