you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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