GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
