I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
