that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
