Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Randomize
