She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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