Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
