Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
