Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
